Why ‘Move On’ Feels Impossible – The Truth About Healing & Forgiveness

People keep telling me to just 'move on,' but they don’t understand how hard it is.

Honestly most of us have been there--perhaps all have been there. We try so had to forgive someone completely, but the hurt and anger within us acts like a slow poison that kills and consumes us slowly.

Whenever we thinks about that person or see them, the memories flash back instantly, results in bringing us back into that painful state, as if it is happening all over again.

And if we gather the courage to share this hurt with someone they either think we are overreacting or advise us to move on, without being aware of the fact that how hard that truly is. 

But let me remind you that you are not alone in this and its ok to feel this way; you don’t have to be guilty for your emotions. 

I know, I know it’s really annoying hearing “just move on”. It makes it sound like pain has an expiration date. But truth is, healing doesn’t follow a timeline . It’s not that simple, and it’s not fair for anyone to expect you to be “over it”quickly. 

Sometimes, you might feel stuck in between internal battles of wanting to let go and people would understand how deep that pain runs. You might even start doubting yourself, thinking, Am I weak because I can’t let this go? 

Healing Isn't Linear

In my own journey I have discovered that healing is not linear and it’s not easy but rather it’s painful, I still remember my therapist told me that “healing can be painful”. I want to share a personal story that shaped my understanding of moving on.

In my high school, my teachers were bullies to me, and the last two years were really hard for me. Every day, they used to act like an AUTHORITY who had power over us. If we did something in their class that they hadn’t taught, we would get in trouble.

Now after many years it still sometimes troubles me and makes me angry and frustrated. But asking for help and getting into therapy was a big relief in my life. I learned that I don’t have to let go or forgive them in a single day or a moment, it may take time.

Right now, I am still on a healing journey but it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. I know this may not be a good example but still just a small drop of hope I vast ocean of pain.

I am aware that lots of people struggle with really painful traumas but as a teen it was really traumatic experience for me. That experience taught me that while pain is deeply personal, there are practical tools that can help.

So I shared my experience because I want you to know—there’s hope. Healing is possible. We just have to allow ourselves to be open to it. And please, don’t fell guilty of feeling this way, Your feeling and emotions are valid.

The fact that you’re even trying to forgive someone who hurt you? Says a lot about you and you should be proud of yourselves for that.

Forgiveness is for You, Not Them

Let me tell you that forgiving is the best thing you can do for yourself.Let go when you’re ready. Not for them—for you. It doesn’t have to be quick you have to give yourself time to adjust. If you like you can pray and tell your mind that:

“I am ready to forgive and let go of all the feelings related to that person and , thank you GOD for giving me this strength to do so.”

Repeat it as many times as you need to until you truly believe it.

And if you’re not there yet? That’s okay, too.

You’re healing, and that’s enough.